Gamecca Rant December 2012

So I have been lazy in getting these posts up. There, I admitted it. Whatyagonnadoaboutit?

Click the "read more" thingy to read more. Duh...

I was at a game launch. Yes, there are still people unwise enough to invite me to events. I do try my best to be well behaved at these things, but you never know when the old bile will rise high enough to spew forth a bunch of bitterness. It happens that much more easily as I grow older and realise that, despite my love for games, the majority of gamers out there really annoy me. Call me grumpy. Call me antagonistic. Call me idealistic. Whatever. I have realised that I am on a crusade, a personally sacred mission to try and re-educate the unwashed masses about what gaming is supposed to be. Your opinion of me is immaterial – my quest is set.

Anyway, so there I am, playing a networked game with a bunch of game journo colleagues and (shudder) members of the public. I am having fun. At least, until this snot-nosed little brat comes and stands next to me. He watches my every move in the game, as my first-person action-hero makes his way through a brutally designed level in search of people whose heads need popping. I see one, and take a snap shot. I miss. It happens.

“I would have made that shot,” the kid says.

“Really?” I grunt in response. He is distracting me. A few seconds later, I switch weapons, favouring a shorter range weapon for a tight area in the map.

“Don’t use that gun, it sucks,” the kid chirps. I marvel at the fact that a twelve year old is an expert in ballistics, cyclic rate and urban warfare.

“Uh-huh.”

“You missed that guy. Go back. Get him! How else are you going to win?” comes from the kid a few nanoseconds later.

“I don’t want to win. I want to have fun.”

The kid looks at me as if I just crawled out of a toxic waste barrel, complete with an extra set of eyes and modified extremities.

“Why don’t you take it seriously?” he asks, all innocence and sweetness.

“Because it’s a game, nitwit. It’s meant to be fun.”

There’s the crux of it. Fun. Remember that? It was what we used to have before the world became so stupidly competitive. I mean, seriously? People compete in everything… cars, phones, houses, whatever. Yes, games are competitive, I get that. But they’re not so extremely important that playing them should be about achievement, rather than enjoyment.

It took another five or so of comments for me to simply hand the controller over to the kid. It was probably a better option than a swift back-hand, which was coming up fast. Five minutes later he proudly bellows “look, I got five awards with just one shot.”

“Oh, awesome,” I responded, “That just solved world hunger.”

I don’t think he heard me. Even if he did, he was too competitive (and likely stupid) to understand. So, let me be plain – in case you don’t get it either. Play games. Have fun. Nothing wrong there… but get your priorities in line. Games aren’t the most important thing in the world. They’re meant to be entertainment, and being really good at them is utterly unimportant in the greater scheme of things. No, don’t try to argue. You are wrong.